yuhi chala chal rahi....

i am not an avid viewer of hindi movies.. defnetly not.. but yes.. sometimes i do come across the movies which really make me think.. think hard.. this bug bit me so hard that i started doubting myself that can i do this?.. and one which made me to think hard was swades.. yup... it may not be the typical hindi potboiler.. its diff alltogether..the concept is very noble.. of what an induvidual can make a difference in his life... to his surroundings and to his society.. infact.. there might be quite some handful movies to name.. but this one kinda hit me hard.. at the grassroot level ( so called in the movie.)....coz i got connected to the charcter of Mohan Bhargav( SRK)...when he visits the village of haridas to collect the land rental on saying of kaveriamma..and when the villager explains how harsh the life's treating them..forget clothes on them.. they r not even able to manage even a single meal ... and on the other hand the main protagonist works in US.. does have all teh gadgets.. net..cell.. shelter...cigis..food..all the comforts of life... but on the other extreme..the same land where he grew up..got educated.. is suffereing.. with poverty.. illiteracy.. corruption.. and god knows what not...and even while coming back.. when the train stops in agati station..and whn a small boy..running arnd to make few bucks by selling water for mere 25ps a cup... our hero is completely shaken...and tears rolling down....

I had been in the same situation quite a lot times(THUD).. but only thing i could do was empathize with them.. feel sorry for their situation and give some money to them... and thank god hundred times for giving this good life to me... and yet we dont broaden our minds.. we become selfish day by day...we go on loosing our essence of life..our think tanks go dry whn we need to help some one.. by heart i wanted to do something beyond just giving some bucks on their hand.. but reality strikes hard... i think wht abt family.. me.. my love.. and what not.. and i give the money.. and think within "man.. i am sorry... but i gotta go".. and i believe only a very few would have the courage to take the step of mohan bhargav...

heres the one awesome conversation between John( boss of MB at NASA) when he relieves him from his job:

J: so u have decided to go back?

MB: Yes sir, I have to go.

J: Think again. u gonna loose a lot.

MB: But I am gonna gain a lot more than this.

J: You can go places if you stay here.

MB: I am goin places.

J: Ok. so.thats it. good luck. Go light your bulb.


I dont know when i gonna light a bulb... but day is not far away..

and yup yup yup.. SRK ROCKS!!!!

value of life

i just read a article on the net.. wherein there was a rail mishap near punjab.. and quite a lot ppl have lost their lives.. and there was this loose comment made by one of the officials " i guess there would have been a goof up in one of the stations, so both the passenger trains collided face to face"..

does our life has any value.. or rather.. do we care for someone's life.. which is so precious.. one's sheer ignorance and negligence costs so much to the families of the dead.. and not even crores or condolences can make it up.. nor can bring bac the dead... nor can patch up the loss of the same in one's family...

sometimes life sucks.. aint it ?

money money money!!

just a thin paper and it has so much power.... we can feed a poor.. we can give a life.. can ruin someone's life.. all this gets done by this thin paper .. amazing power and value we humans have given to it...wonder if it wasnt there... will our lives be different than now it is... can our relationships survive... can a induvidual survive.. can we be more happy

all these thoughts just flashed in front of me for once... when i saw my balance sheet.. its just the second week.. and i am quite broke... very sad tho.. but still.. i dont know .. to blame myself.. or ... no clue...all i wish was i had a lot more money so that i could clear all my debts.. and lead a peaceful life.. no credit guys calling.. no worries abt how much i still owe.. and hide ourselves from seeing them in sheer shame... or is this just a matter of time.. a learning phase... where everyone of us in some point or the other in life we realise what money is .. how much importance we give.. how much hard we work to gain this but still we have no contrl over it.. but then we realise its too late...

money .. money.. money..
its so funny...

by ABBA

Loneliness

loneliness.....

its a gift... a pleasure.... feels good to be there sometimes..

without anyone to care for.. without no one to love.. all by yourself..

but how long...

how long.. to be there without no one to care for... no one to love... share the fun....dreams.. passions... goals.. no one to know where i am...what i want.. what i dont.. if i am hurt.. or i am hungry.. or i am suffering.. or i am alive or dead....

can someone pull the plug...

The Genius

well was quite surprised whn KP ( er.. dont bang me .. i am ur good pal.. remember) mailed me his poem which was written some 4 yrs bac... but truly its amazing.. first time when i went thru it.. i thought its just anthr leaf in the tree.. but nope. when viddu told me to read the entire stuff.. i just couldnt stop goin thru it again and again.. an truly awesome one.. and he deserves a pat( ah.. where?).. life is weird.. aint it ?... coz we never know who has what kind of hidden talents with them.. some one once said.. everyone is a genius.. some get to see the light.. and some dont.. well enough of me blabbering.. go thru the masterpiece...

You can't think of a memory that doesn't hurt.
Youwalk along the street at night, head filled
with profound and dark thoughts,and you know
that regardless of how beautiful this internal
poetry is,and how neat this world is, it doesn't mean
shit because no one's there towatch it with you.

When you walk, you keep hoping that someone
you know willstop and say "Hey, what's the matter,"
and you can tell them, but no onedoes. The cars
whiz by like they always do, oblivious to the tortured
pedestrian only feet away from them.

As you walk alongthe street, you hold conversations
with people in yourhead - witty things to say to the
cops if they stop you (they never do),phone calls to
ex-girlfriends, ex-friends, old friends. "Hey there,
know it's been a while, but I just thought I'd call you..."
You'llnever call them, shying away from the potential
dissapointment andembarassment.

You walk along, building fantasies ofsome girl you
fancy, but you're beyond the sex now,now you're
picturing yourself bumping into her, herlooking at
you with compassion in her eyes and saying"What's wrong?"
What's wrong. The magic question that no one seems toask.

People obviously know *something* is wrong - they shy away
from you atthe supermarket, they smile nervously when you
bring your gaze up from thefloor (its usual resting place) and
set it on their faces. But no onecan bother themselves with you.

Your friends, if you could call them those,come and go, their
lives as manufactured and brittle as polymer. For some
reasonpeople digust you now, and you can't stand being
around them. You getclaustrophobic in your own house,
which is why you're walking. As you walk, tearstrickle
down your cheeks.

A piece of music grips your soul, embodiesyour dispair,
and you walk along, gently humming, tears staining theasphalt.
You know that, no matter how beautiful the sunrise, no matter
howprofound the thought, no matter how trancendental the
experience, it's notworth anything without someone to see it,
hear it, andexperience it with you. Depression is hell.

adios!!

Dreams & Passions

strange... but it did happen to me in the morning.. when i stepped into office today little did i realise that the word " dream" will be haunting me for the rest of the day... coz i had planned to sell my bike.. for two reasons.. firstly it was qutie old ( but still i love my baby tho..) and secondly to get on to my dream bike .. yup.. Enfield.. no no.. i am not that rich to afford a new bullet for 80 grands.. one of my good old friend was selling off his 5 yr old bullet for a good price.. and the factors which influenced me to think abt that bike was ..

for quite some time he was teling me tthat he plans to sell his bike.. and i was saying i will buy it.. i think say for almost a year.. but at that time i wasnt tht financially stable..( neither i am now..).. but the dream to own my fav bike was growing more and more stronger in me as the roots of gaint tree keeps goin more and more deeper into the ground day after day... so now i thought high time to get on it...

but the thing which stuck me badly was.. its effeciency.. coz i travlel a lot.. so i was looking at soemthing economical..which is not that heavy on my pocket... as the existing one was good enough to manage it.. but then i thought for a while.. practically.. financially.. logically.. and all the possible manners where it gets related to reality.. then i had decided few days bac.. not to buy coz its gonna be heavy.. but then whn i came in the morning.. after the discussions.. i thought.. this is my dream.. i dont know i may be in a better position to buy in the near future or i may not at all.. coz as the times change.. we change.. and then our priorities change.. so... no matter what i will go for my dream bike.. yeah i know its gonna be slight heavy.. not that cant manage.. but .. yup.. when compared to the happiness of acheiveing my dream . i thought money wont be any issue( as though it will never be.. THUD)...

well so in quite few days i wil be riding my dream baby.. but after all this.. the famous quote from the movie spidey2 hit me hard. " in life.. sometimes. to do the right thing.. we have to be steady and give up the most what we want.. even our dreams"....

er... i am lost.. someone help me.....

THE GANG ( -2 )

thats shashi, viddu and me.. this was the snap taken in tirupati... been there last week... i dont think so vids and shash's r still suffering from the pain of climbing the stairs... if not.. get ready for next trip guys :))

winds of change

hi eveyone, heres my first bloggie out here... well krish forwarded me his blog.. of which i was quite pleased by its appearance and ofcourse his wordings.. so here i am... ( yup.. exactly.. the bryan adams song.. sounds gr8.. isnt it)... well today was quite okie dokie kinda day.. not much gr8 though.. but yep.. quite happy with the way i am being myself.. meaning in total control of myself.. and very badly missing swats.. kinda feelign lonely without her.. yeah.. i knw.. viddu is here.. but we r a group... and even one goes off for a day.. its sad .. like one string is conked off and u cant use the guitat till its bac.. so as EOD was nearing.. was listening to " winds of change" by scorpions.. i wonder who they crafted such an mindblowing and rather deep lyrics... truly.. change is part of life.. an inevitable one.. cant escape tho.. some embrace it with grace and taste the change.. and some hate .. well life is weird.. i wonder :)